RENEE ✿ live to make everything happen

Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 //

There's some feeling that might disturb us sometimes, and yet you don't know how to overcome it.

There's some thought and feeling that just pop out in your mind in sudden when you go through some prob.

There's also some strange feeling that interupt your mind and it dont make you feel comfortable at times, yet you dont know why the feeling come to you.

You can't avoid feeling b'cause its just something from inside you.

You can just temporary put it aside and it will alway be there.

The moment I opened up my eyes today, the dream make me wonder, I closed my eyes.
The moment I opened up my eyes again, I'm feeling tired. I then grabbed over my phone and hope it will ring or maybe some text.
The moment I closed my eyes again, I flashed back the last conversation we had.
Once again, I closed my eyes, and woke up with some expectations.
But tick-tock tick-tock bring me down.

I'm having a untitled feeling with me today through the waiting.

I flashed back to yesterday, while I facing these feelings.
I remember the words you told.
I gave up like I said in previous, to myself. I guess I should have seriously do that.

Yesterday, I went upstairs with my mood up high, n go down just like I'm riding the roller coaster.
Just up and down, up and down, repetitively.

The moment I covered my head with pillow, was breathless.
The moment I pushed you away, was an act, I just want you to pull me hard into your arms.
The moment you told me there's nothing to comfort, I already realized, I won't get it from you.
The moment I keep repeating or telling you something bad, was lies, I just want to hear something concern from you.
The moment I heard the words you told me, I decided to keep it and not to letting you know.
The moment I told you about your face expression, was true, and I didn purposely put it in my heart, and your face expression reminded me, this is truth, but you dont want to listen.

And lastly, I seriously don't want to be that kind of girl just like you alway tell me that you are different from other guy.
Or I should just tell you, this is normal, this is how guy shall be.

I am fine, seriously.